First Impressions: Sex Appeal

Sophia Loren once said, “Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got”. I’ve always wondered about the many factors that makes one ‘attractive’. When we first meet someone, there are those few precious minutes, sometimes only seconds, during which we somehow manage to accept or decline them based on the notion of “sex appeal”. We all have our likes and dislikes, but how does one really decide if they are interested?
There are those obvious sexually charged environments such as bars, clubs, or even a one-on one date, where both parties enter the room and are actively looking to find someone sexy or not. But what about everyday situations, the random people we meet and interact with as we live our lives? Imagine this (Facebook can wait): You’re walking down the street and someone steps on your foot. You look up (to curse them out, no doubt) and 45 seconds later, you realize you find this person appealing. What were your criteria? Was it purely physical (his fit body, her big breasts?) or was it more personal (her smile, his touch?)? For some people, it’s one or the other. For others, it’s both.
Most people think of sex appeal as the quality or power to attract someone sexually. I believe that sex appeal entails more than just sexuality. It’s not only about flaunting one’s body or showing skin, the physical attributes. Sex appeal can also be defined as an immediate appeal or obvious potential to interest or excite others, as by appearance, style, or charm. For example, people find confidence sexy. Yet confidence is a personal characteristic, not a physical attribute. So what makes it ‘sexy’? “Confidence is sexy because the person is sure of themselves and their capabilities. And they’ll be even more likely to use their sexy tricks” says ‘Otter'.
“You may feel that sex appeal is something you have or don’t have. But it’s actually within your control. You can adjust your level of sexual expression to make others feel comfortable around you and to take the relationship to another level- or should you choose- to create a closer bond, flirt playfully, or pursue romance. You can leave others with a desire to know more about you and get closer to you. Likewise, if you want to limit the extent of the relationship, you can rein in your sexual expression.” says authors Ann Demarais and Valerie White in their book titled “First Impressions: What You Don't Know about How Others See You”.
There are many things that can make one sexually appealing without having to resort to short skirts and muscle tight tees (shout out to Jersey Shore!). For instance, I find touching to be sexy. To reach out and touch someone is a personal thing and done right, it can leave that person feeling “attracted” to you. A light touch on the shoulder, a rub on the back, or even a heartfelt handshake can leave a person with the sense that a connection was made, even if they didn’t initially find you sexually attractive. Having a personality is VERY sexy. You can have George Clooney and Denzel Washington DNA, but if your personality sucks, I will choose the less hot guy to go out with. Having personal allure, a sense of playfulness (not taking your celebrity like beauty too seriously), and being open is also appealing. It invites people to get to know you, regardless of their first impression. It’s that certain “je ne sais quoi” that keeps them coming back.
“It’s always physical at first because that’s just what you see. But then it goes downhill from there because everyone’s messed up”, Abdullah, “but I can definitely find someone appealing after talking to them even if I wasn’t attracted to what I saw at first. Personality always wins in the end”. Otter disagrees: “You can’t have sex with a personality”. Unfortunately, that is a sad fact.