Oral Sex: Returning the Favor

Oral sex (head, blowjob, going downtown, or whatever those crazy kids are calling it these days) may be used as an appetizer or a meal unto itself. For many people, this is a two way street. I do you, and then you do me. For others, it’s like driving the wrong way up a one-way street. I do you, and then….WAIT….where are you going? Are we done?!?! No matter what type of relationship, the issue of returning the favor when it comes to oral sex is one that everyone faces. The question is: Does the favor have to be returned?
The current trend is that women are somehow required to give oral, but men aren’t held to these same standards. Men go into sexual relations (I love Bill Clinton for making that phrase popular) expecting oral and are highly disappointed when their expectations aren’t met. Some even consider it a make or break issue. Yet, a lot of women live with the fact that they don’t receive in return. Some women don’t even venture to ask if their man is willing to do it; as if it’s taboo or something. While there are men who love to do it and may volunteer to favor you without being asked to do so, the majority of men don’t offer this service, even if they don’t hate doing it. Is it that they just would rather not if they don’t have to? If so, that’s very selfish.
Whether it’s due to lack of skill/technique, previous bad experiences, or personal insecurities, there are people who just do not like the thought of oral. Putting their mouths on someone’s “naughty bits” is not their idea of fun. The vagina is like a complex maze and you have to be willing to go exploring. And the penis is likened to a snake for a reason (I’ve always felt that there was something sinister about it). Some people are just not that adventurous. Others don’t enjoy seafood or are allergic to cats and/or bananas. Oral is not an option for them and as their sex partner, you have to decide for yourself if you want to keep giving without receiving.
Some consider it a selfish act to not return the favor because all the attention is on the satisfaction of one partner (usually the man), not both. But as some of you know, a lot of people get turned on by turning their partners on. Giving oral can be empowering when you realize that you have the ability to make someone else feel sooo goood. The flip side of the oral problem is that many women get too lost in their head worrying about things like odor, taste, hair, time of the month, etc. to really enjoy themselves. Oral sex is not some evil concoction of the porn industry to make you feel sexually inadequate (or is it?). It’s supposed to be fun. RELAX! Sit back and enjoy. If you’re concerned about odors, catch her (or him: guys aren’t always so fresh and clean themselves) right out of the shower to ensure an Irish Spring fresh scent (or whatever Bath & Body Works scent she’s currently obsessed with).
My opinion is that no one should be forced to do anything they don’t want to. It’s completely voluntary. The word ‘favor’, according to dictionary.com, means ‘something done or granted out of goodwill; a kind act; a gift”. With that being said, it would be nice for your partner to also do a kind act by giving you the gift of oral. The issue of returning the favor is more like a multi-lane highway in midday traffic. Like life, it’s complicated.